why i started

I was three When we first met  Today, you are as special to me  as you were then While holding my mothers hand  walking your shores  I   searched for sand dollars and  found sea glass My children first met you before they would walk. I got my first kiss With you  caressing my feet. I baptized my grandchildren with your warm summer waves. I stand in my walker gazing out to you Seeing  memories of times we shared I am again   the young mother sitting on the sand Nursing  her child  in the  midnight blackness The  waves  sing my child to sleep when I could not. The sweet  memory of my first kiss fills my heart The oxygen tank fills my lungs You nourish my spirit And  will be with me after I pass Dedicated to and in honor of RMS 

if only if only if only i tried if only i could  if only I hadn't if only if only at the funeral those who attend  might whisper among themselves "if only" R.I.P. what if what if what if i tried what if i could  what if I did what if what if at the funeral those who attend  would whisper among themselves "what if" R.I.P. why not why not why not  lost laughing in yesterday's memories today "why not" WHY JUST DO IT?  NOW?  i see this poem as the journey from spectator to traveler from regrets to action my trust is tinged with fear